Accepting the new girlfriend…

Ah a touchy subject this one is, purely because the even mention of my ex’s father makes him about pass out, it seems I’m not allowed to even look at him these days never mind make a blog post that sort of includes him, but not really at the same time. No nastiness comes from me, purely for the fact that I do not care, nor do I want that sort of drama for my son, I am 26 years old and not a child anymore, and that now means that I do not argue with someone over little things, if only he could do the same but hey, that is probably asking for too much.

So, as the title says, accepting the new girlfriend, easier said than done. That boy, my son, is my first born, my only little boy, my best(but annoying at times)little friend! So, allowing someone else into his life is not an easy task for me, especially when I know that person is taking on a role in bringing him up, this isn’t just some person he will see every now and again, this is someone that will be in his life, and being around for every achievement he may have in his life. You have to trust this person to have the best interest for your child, to treat your child how you believe your child deserves to be treated.

At first, I was not good at this, but for good reason, it was a different girl in his life all the time, so yeah, whenever it was someone knew I lost my shit and wanted to legit go through the newest girlfriend, I mean, why are you meeting my child after being with his dad approximately 2 seconds Hun? Not happening, go away. That’s exactly how I felt, never happened though mind, so yeah, it was never through jealousy, just through rage more than anything. Although looking back, maybe it was a little bit of jealousy? Never over the person being with his dad, I mean, jealousy of now having to share my child with this new person, who really, I felt at the time, didn’t deserve to be around my child, he was mine, my amazing little boy, I didn’t want anybody else to look after him, that was my job.

He eventually got with his current girlfriend, and yeah, at first I was a right bitch, didn’t want to even look at her, never mind talk too her. I just felt hatred, I won’t lie, nothing but pure hatred. It took me a long time to accept it, but when I finally realised that this might be the person he stays with, and seen that actually, she was just the right person to be around my child, it was so easy. I know that when he leaves, he is with 2 people that will look after him, and love him, and treat him exactly how I treat him here. I know I could happily invite them both to any events he has, whether that’s sports day, a school assembly, whatever, I could stand to be in the same room as them and even talk to them(Riley’s dad wouldn’t have that though as I’ve said).

Is it my age that made me finally accept it? Have I just grew up? Who knows, I’d like to think it is because I know this is the person he is going to stick with(I hope)! All you can ask for when a relationship doesn’t work out and kids are involved, is that your child is loved, and looked after when with them, and he always comes back happy and that’s the best thing I could ask for! In the end, my sons happiness comes first, over my feelings, but I can actually say, that I have no hatred here! X

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